Positive Attitude

What Is Positive Attitude?
As a child we all are smothered to dear life to maintain a Positive Attitude. What actually is it? Merriam-Webster defines Attitude as, "an organismic state of readiness to respond in a characteristic way to a stimulus". In the light of the above meaning, Positive Attitude becomes an ability to perceive  the good in adverse situations. It is not that you take up any challenge just because you ought to keep a positive attitude, not judging the circumstances is sheer stupidity. If you have an option to fight against The Undertaker and you think I should take up all challenges thrown out at me, I can assure you, you'll be the one getting thrown around. But yes, if there is no alternative to the fight, try to maintain a a belief that "the future is separated from the present along a fine line of actions". Try to work his weaknesses, your strength and strategize. It may not result in you winning but it can actually let it reduce from an ass kicking to a fight.

Moving On,
Why Positive Attitude?
Our body language, our confidence and the level of panic we attain in face of a problem is determined by our attitude. Our beliefs are the only things that make us respond in a certain manner. It may be difficult for us to find out the good in the situation, Sometimes there isn't any good attached to a situation, and I'm not contradicting my own approach, but even then we need to maintain the attitude that when the situation passes, the future would be better. It is easy to read but difficult to imply, I bet till this line you're feeling bored and think it is all what you know, it is, but introspect, you'll find that even with knowledge, you lack the will to maintain it.
Positive Attitude shows on our face. If I believe I can fly, I will spread my wings a thousand times and may be one day I'll find the right wings to suit my flight. Till that day, I will look curious, excited and motivated to try again. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, made more than a thousand tries to find the filament for the incandescent light bulb before he found tungsten, when asked about his thousand failures he said, "Now, I definitely know more than a thousand ways how NOT to make a light bulb".
It is a proven fact that our attitude determines our body language. If I'm standing in front of a crowd of 50 people and I feel I'm going to fumble, I will fumble, I might actually puke upon some unlucky people in the audience, but If I start to think I can and I will, I will and I shall.

Maintaining Positive Attitude-
Blah! Blah! Blah!, that's all I think you perceived, but my will still says go on, you'll proceed, that is what is extruding positive attitude. Seeing the good in bad situations is entirely philosophical, even I can't do it all the times so I'll not give you the advice to do so, if you can, it is good.
Level with me, fear of future will always ruin the present and therefore the past endeavors, think about the future, but only your future, not the future where people comment on your failures. Everytime you fail, you'll get a piece of advice from  a person who did not succeed either. Mouths will open and shut as they please, never let them affect your actions.

Ask the following questions to yourself before doing something, this will definitely help build a sense of positivity regarding the subject:

1. Why I'm doing it?
2. What are the possible reasons of failure?
3. How will I do it?
4. Is it worth doing?
5. What will it help me achieve?

It is easy to say, difficult to do, but maintaining a positive attitude is a base where all other wheels get attached. Your attitude in life determines your altitude in life.

Diplomacy

What is Diplomacy?

Diplomacy, as defined by Winston Churchill, is the art of telling someone to “Go To Hell” in such a manner that they look forward to the trip. Dictionary defines it as, “skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility”. In essence it is the way to get your feelings out into the conversational sphere in such a manner that people do not misunderstand or disparage it.

Diplomacy is mostly associated with countries and international relations. I took part in Model United Nations where we were “Pretend Diplomats” discussing and negotiating over “International Problems”. Diplomacy is required in such events as all people have different outlook/attitude due to different cultures and upbringing. As pretend nationals, we had to make sure the honor of “Our Nation” is not offended, the views not neglected and our foreign policy taken into consideration. There too, it is all about fruitful negotiations which focus on solutions acceptable to all rather than the problem.

Why it is necessary to be Diplomatic?

1.        Less Friction: Diplomats cause no offense on part of the listener. If you tell someone, “Your smell is offensive” not only will the person start to despise you, he will also not take any action. Instead, try “You will smell better if you wear a deodorant” and in superlatives, gift them a Deodorant.
2.         Action: Diplomacy initiates action. If you tell someone, “Do <task> for me, will ya?” it would imply you do not respect their work, If you use, “I would be highly obliged if <task>” would communicate their work is appreciated and they will definitely take action. IT GETS THE WORK DONE.
3.        Effect: Effect of a diplomatic answer is far reaching than that of a straight face sadistic. If you hate a certain quality it someone, like me, I’m arrogant (I feel) and tell it to me directly that I find you rude, it will not have any impact on me as I myself know it, but if you come up to me and subtly merge an incidence which indicates about my arrogance in our conversation, I might just remember it for longer. Remember, what you do wrong will retain in your memory longer than what you did right.
4.       Better Relations: If you make sure that you don’t insult your peers, condescend them or belittle their views, not only will you be loved, people will trust you with ease and think twice before sabotaging their relationship with you.

How to be diplomatic?

1.       Think before you act. Even if you’re angry or feeling offended, take a second to breathe and think things through before you say or do anything. If you have to, actually think, “Breathe!” in your head to keep yourself calm. It might seem difficult, but taking that extra second to evaluate the situation will keep you from seeming hot-headed or presumptuous.

2.       Focus on the facts of the situation. Take a moment to step back and evaluate the situation objectively and assess the factual information before you without including your emotions.

3.       Use decisive language. Speak clearly in simple language so that the person or people you’re addressing won’t misunderstand your points.

4.       Be non-confrontational. It’s okay to be assertive, and assertiveness can even help you get your diplomatic points heard, but avoid language that could be heard as confrontational or overly aggressive.

   Try simply saying, “No” instead of saying, “There’s no way…” or, “You’ve got to be kidding”.

5.       Avoid highly emotional situations. If you are involved in a discussion that’s already emotional charged or argumentative, your attempts to be diplomatic will go unheard. Try again later.

- Suggest to the parties involved that everyone take a break and return to the conversation in five minutes when calm has returned.

- Offer to mediate a discussion once everyone has relaxed and cooled off. Being a mediator will allow you to be diplomatic with everyone involved without anyone feeling that you’re taking sides.

       6.      Refuse to be interrupted.

-Politely ask that the person interrupting you allow you to finish your thought and continue with your statement.

-Ask them to continue their thought after you’ve finished.

       7.      Choose a diplomatic posture.

-Use neutral body language to get your diplomatic point across. Look other people squarely in the eye when speaking and use a calm tone of voice.

-Relax any parts of your body that can become tense during opinionated discussions, like your hands, shoulders and brows.

-Avoid waving your hands when you talk as this can be viewed as aggressive or distracting.

-Don’t think that you have to smile or laugh every two seconds to be diplomatic. Being overly friendly will make you appear facetious and your colleagues will take you less seriously.

8.  Stand your ground. Being diplomatic means standing up for yourself, so do it. Be firm in your responses and opinions and stand by them.

The great Chanakaya once said, winner is not the one who wins over the other person through a war, but the one who wins him without a war. We have to be diplomatic at many times because we are in situations where our say matters the least and we have to instigate others to think on the line on which we are thinking. Diplomacy is like what is shown in the movie Inception, giving someone an idea in such a manner that they believe they were the source.

Diplomacy is the wheel, if not used cautiously will amount to you looking like you’ve become a sycophant but, if used with care, it will never let a door be closed for you.

Competitiveness

Competitiveness is sometimes mistaken for jealousy or envy. Jealously is a disruptive force. It will only give you ways to pull the other person down rather than pushing yourself up. You can only pull down so many people, that too on the cost of not improving yourself. For example, if someone scores more than you, in terms of marks, money or even girls (not being sexist, girls are not scored, just a way of saying), you can either try to cut their chances or be competitive and build one for your own.

Competitiveness, as I define it, is the ability to track what quality in others is better than yourself backed with a desire to improve and excel. Nothing is possible without Desire, desire provides the will to do something and the drive to get it done. Healthy competition cannot exist without desire but, desire should be to reach up, not pull down.

Think about this:

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little..

The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.

Without the existence of competition, we will never improve, competition provides us with fear, the fear of losing. A quote in The Dark Knight Rises says, "You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak. How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death." In essence it means fear calls upon your desperation. Until you are willing to do anything possible to achieve, you will not.

It will sound awfully philosophical, but it's true, we should negate the Crab Do. Crabs when caught in a bowl have the tendency to pull down any other crab that tries to escape. As a result, no crab will escape and the captor will not need to put a lid on the bowl to prevent escaping. The crabs remain captured, slowly waiting their demise.

Steps for healthy competition:

1. Identify your competition.

2. Identify characteristics required for success (in the market, exam, interview, etc.)

3. Analyse where they are better and where you are better.

4. Focus on those which require immediate attention.

5. Evaluate the distance traveled.

Building healthy competition:

1. Confidence: When you are confident on yourself, you will never be jealous. You'll believe in yourself, it will create the attitude of I want to become better than others because I CAN, rather than thinking and conspiring against others. A confident person will be ready to face challenges and will not fall all square in face of tough competition.
2. Positive Attitude: Since our birth, we are taught to keep a Positive Attitude towards things. In some situations, it's not easy but always necessary. I myself realised in the past that I'm a sour loser, I tried to work upon it, I don't know how much I improved but today I can smile and congratulate a person. Positive Attitude in face of misery/defeat is necessary. It is easy to undermine or condescend someone else's achievements, or call it a fluke, but you never know how much devotion is required to achieve it by "fluke". It is necessary to let go of the past and concentrate on the future.
3. Respecting Competition: It is an age old saying that One should never underestimate his adversary. The underdogs are the ones that can disrupt everything. Respect them for the fact that they are able to compete with you. Think about their likely moves and be proactive to respond to them.
4. Desire: As I mentioned earlier, desire is pivotal to action. The desire should not be to better a person but to better everyone else. A positive desire causes a positive action and attitude. Aspire to reach your potential, and beyond. If desire is confined to a person, you'll lose purpose as soon as you pull them down or get beyond them. One should adopt the Japanese principle of Kaizen, i.e. the desire to improve forever.

Remember, without a winner or a loser, there is no end. Compete with others to end up on top